What I Did on My Summer Vacation

Since the last time I blogged I:

Got older, had party, went to Utah, painted a mug, tried to steal Lacie's son, gave him back when it became crystal clear the lad had NOT mastered toilet training, and also because thats apparently not legal in this part of the country, came home, went to eighty billion weddings in various parts of the state, took a Stats class, refused to buy the stupid book, had a teeny party by myself to celebrate the end of said stats class, went to the beach but not nearly enough, BROKE my laptop for good and for real, a pair of tweezers may have been involved (I KNOW, and I don't want to talk about it.), was gifted with real live ART, read East of Eden, decided halfway through that I wanted John Steinbeck to be my literary boyfriend, saw his slightly creepy mustachioed picture on the back, decided we should just be friends, worried about how to break it to him, remembered he was dead, felt better, then felt slightly guilty and possibly a little delusional, and finally I went ahead and broke grammer by writing the longest run on sentence ever. I had a bunch of pictures of these events, which would really make this post a lot more interesting...but they are all on my dear departed laptop, and I just couldn't go one more day with the stupid doctor story up.

Oh yeah, remember how I have a BLOG???

I bet I have all kinds of important things to tell you about including but not limited to: creative employment, plans for summer, long lost sisters and my ADDICTION to mint three musketeers! But instead let me tell you a story called "How That One Time When I Went to Pick Up My Sister At Lunch Today My Car Rolled Over and Played Dead!" It begins with me going to pick up my sister at lunch today, but stay tuned because there is a surprise ending.

Sleepless in Southern California

It's two am and I can't sleep. Note to self: Don't take Excedrin right before bed...I don't care how bad your headache is! Next time just take a slug of whiskey and be done with it. I was planning to do a post about my cousin's wedding in Utah (yes another one...third one this year!), and my Arizona Thanksgiving. I was going to include pictures and stats just like the last one, but I remembered that I don't have my camera and don't have access to the pictures everyone else took. Everyone else, please send me pictures!

Tonight at in enrichment we had a cookie exchange. This is exactly as delightful a practice as it sounds. Everyone brings a batch of cookies, plus the recipe they used, and shares it with everyone else. I intuitively felt my loyal readers would want a copy of my recipe.

From The Friendly Kitchen: Agnes McCafferty’s World Famous Secret Recipe:

(…for, um, chocolate chip cookies)

You need:

¨ 1 cup of flour

¨ 1 cup of sugar

¨ 1 tin of crisco

¨ 1 pkg chocolate chips

¨ 1 tin of baking powder

¨ 1 medium mixing bowl

¨ 1 cup of hot chocolate…the chocolateier the better

¨ 2 regular sized candy canes

¨ 1 stylish apron

¨ 1 pearl necklace (optional)

First: Preheat the oven to 350, or somewhere in that neighborhood. Next, tie the stylish apron carefully around your waist so as not to wrinkle the silk party dress you are undoubtedly wearing. You may want to bring a full length mirror in at this point to admire how charming and domestic you look. We recommend fastening one to the inside of your pantry for easy access. Now take out the ingredients we’ve conveniently listed above. Carefully arrange these items on the counter for maximum visibility. It's important that passersby know how hard you are working. You may want to include some other things to add authenticity: eggs, butter, baking soda, milk, etc. However, we find that these items can be messy and choose not to bother with them at all. After opening the chocolate chip bag to sample a few tasty morsels, go to your refrigerator and remove one pkg of Nestle Tollhouse cookie dough. Slicing the dough yourself can be exhausting, so we recommend placing one slice of cookie dough in your mouth for each one you place on the cookie sheet. It is important to keep one’s strength up. Now, place the cookie sheet into the oven and cook for however long it is that you are supposed to. I’m sure it’s on the package. After all the dough has been eaten used, be sure to throw the wrapper away so as not to disillusion your guests. Now, you’ve worked hard! You deserve a little reward, so we suggest you treat yourself to a nice cup of hot cocoa, and a candy cane while you wait for your cookies to finish. (Don’t forget to dab just a little flour on your cheeks just before you serve, it adds that “I’ve been slaving over a hot stove all day so you could have this cookie” touch!)

Tragically I was so busy writing the recipe, my cookies burned.