1) Getting my hair cut.
2) Watching the most recent episode of Project Runway on my cousin's tivo.
3) Getting to see Captain Sparklepants before her Americorp departure.
4) Having my hip abduction brace mistaken for a trendy belt.
5) Having my hip abduction brace mistaken for a Han Solo tribute.
6) New clothes.
7) Pedicures with Emily. I got my done with black polish, because I'm edgy now. You should see my bangs.
8) Going to Yoku Yoku, the best frozen yogurt in all the land! (At least in West LA anyway.)
9) Discovering the joys of Guitarhero. (Um, I don't want to get mad at anyone here, but WHY did nobody introduce me to Guitarhero before this? I think I might have found my life's calling.)
10) Seriously folks, Han Solo. Awesome.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Thoughts on the Draft
AARON: Man...it sucks that I can get drafted just cause I'm a guy.
DAD: Could be worse, you could have to go to relief society.
ME: Whatever, relief society is awesome, we get treats.
DAD: Yes but what you don't know is that in Elders Quorum we all sneak out and smoke cigars at the end.
AARON: Yeah, but its cool, they're caffeine free.
DAD: Could be worse, you could have to go to relief society.
ME: Whatever, relief society is awesome, we get treats.
DAD: Yes but what you don't know is that in Elders Quorum we all sneak out and smoke cigars at the end.
AARON: Yeah, but its cool, they're caffeine free.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Thinking
About time we got that last post of the top eh? Other than my brief visit to the land of the food intolerant, I've been having a simply lovely convalescence. I thought I was going to blog all the time while I was stuck in bed, I thought I would have nothing to do except fill the internets will my pearls of wisdom. But instead my life got weirdly busy. A huge part of it was my fantastic friends who came around to keep me company. I think they must have set up a schedule: "Ok, I'll go on Monday and laugh at her bionic woman jokes and you go Tuesday and pretend you think her brace looks sporty too!" which was quite awesome. On top of that they kept leaving me with stuff to do. I'll tell you right now...need new books to read? Craving something good to eat? Perhaps you've noticed a lack of flowers in your life? GET INJURED! People are way nice to you when you're an invalid. Or maybe I should say more specifically that MY people are way nice to you when you're an invalid. Seriously though, I'm set for books until March I think. Good times.
Besides those delightful distractions I had other things to attend to. Life continues to go on even when your in the middle of a sick day. Or month. I have all these Life Decisions to make. You know. The capitalized kind. The kind that really determine your future and junk. Which is actually probably the real reason I haven't been writing much, now and before. I've been in this weird period of limbo since I graduated college where twice the plans I made ended up falling through at the last second. And while I don't necessarily feel bad about the way things went in either case, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still at square one. I still have to decide what I'm going to do this year, and for the rest of my life for that matter. I'm a girl who likes having a plan, and I feel weird that I don't have one fully formed right now.
Liz has me inspired at the moment, with her Year Of Living the Ideal Life. I guess my goal for the moment is to figure out what exactly my dream is that I need to be living. Girl band maybe? Who knows?
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Gross
Dear Stomach bug,
Seriously? Right now? I'm not saying there's necessarily a good time to loose the ability to consume food, stand up or roll over with out projectile vomiting...but when you are already on crutches, are unable to kneel over the toilet bowl and must wear a complicated brace with a piece that goes right over your stomach seems like a particularly bad time. Go away. I hate you.
Incapacitatedly yours,
Hannah
Seriously? Right now? I'm not saying there's necessarily a good time to loose the ability to consume food, stand up or roll over with out projectile vomiting...but when you are already on crutches, are unable to kneel over the toilet bowl and must wear a complicated brace with a piece that goes right over your stomach seems like a particularly bad time. Go away. I hate you.
Incapacitatedly yours,
Hannah
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Pop
Hi! How was your December? Mine was great! Christmas? Grand! Hello new ipod! And an extra special welcome to the family's shiny new wii. (I had no desire for a wii but holy crap are those things fun! Come over anytime and we'll go bowling.) And now, because I'm not exactly known for smooth transitions here is a gripping and dramatic tale to spice up your new year.
A little background for the three readers (I exaggerate) who haven't known me for eight thousand years. I have a little something called Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. This is for those of us who believe in aging backwards so as to get the unpleasant aspects out of the way. Or some sort of autoimmune disorder, its hard to say. Regardless, when I was fourteen, had delightfully thin arms and was sporting an unfortunate unibrow, I had a double hip replacement surgery. You may think this sounds sad, but trust me, its been an amazing blessing in my life. I always have something to bond over with old people, I beep cheerfully in airport security, and I almost always win in who's got the coolest scar contests. Plus, you know. I can walk. Thats been pretty sweet.
Having major surgeries always come with pro and con lists. Pro: You can walk like a normal person! Con: You must never ever bungee jump. Pro: You're two inches taller! Con: You will never realize your Olympic dreams as a gymnast because you are not allowed to do the splits. Pro: You learned how to pluck your eyebrows! Con: Oh yeah, sometimes your hips might pop out of their sockets.
That last one was the biggie, the reason behind all my new found don't's, (don't cross your legs, don't sit indian style don't try to land a double front flip off the uneven bars...) Because at any moment an extreme position might send one of my new hips right out of their reinforced titanium sockets. I gravely agreed, and with great care and concern I stepped out into the world. It was worth the trade. I was very careful when I first got them, watching and waiting for the inevitable day when they popped out. But...they never did. Despite all the warnings of my surgical team (who could totally beat your surgical team), those hips stayed right where they were supposed to.
Flash forward eight years to 2006 when Ibent down to pick up a plug in my apartment was jumping over a vat of electric eels on my motorcycle. Suddenly quite tragically, it happened. Hip popped. It was quite a moment. I actually had to army crawl over to my desk and pull down my laptop and instant message my cousin to have her call 911. (This part of the story is true, I realize it might be hard to tell with me.) It was very dramatic and quite inspiring. Couldn't have come at a worse time, smack in the middle of midterms, but I was confident that I would be able to pop the sucker back in and be back in school by Monday. Hahahahahahahahahaha! No. I didn't take into account the whole healing process. It takes about six weeks for a dislocated hip to heal, all the while wearing a stylish brace that goes around your waist, and connects to a separate piece that goes around your thigh. I was, I must admit, just a little dissapointed. Still, six weeks isn't that long, and before I knew it I was back to my usual skipping self. Older, wiser, and with a new story to add to the old repertoire.
Imagine my surprise a couple of days ago when I bent down to grab a soda off the bottom shelf and when I stood up I heard and felt that distinctive pop. I believe my exact thought was "Oh my gosh you have got to be kidding me. Again?" Which I eloquently verbalized thusly: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!"
My mother thought I had seen a particularly nasty spider. She came to my rescue anyway, as did the rest of my excellent family. (At one point as my parents held me on the kitchen floor and two emt's prepared to move me onto a stretcher while another put in an iv to give me some much needed morphine I suggested someone get the camera and snap a picture for a scrapbook. For some reason I was not taken seriously and so unfortunately I don't have any photos for you.) Anyway, I got to ride in an ambulance WITH sirens, and crack McDreamy jokes with the nursing staff and after a couple of tries got my hip put back in place!
And at the conclusion of this long and sordid tale I must ask you. Why oh why does this always happen in the lamest of ways? If I had known I was going to pop a hip on Friday I would have just gone skydiving. I mean honestly, grabbing a soda? So thats then end folks, six weeks in captivity. Fortunately I'm extremely long suffering. Expect to hear from me often.
A little background for the three readers (I exaggerate) who haven't known me for eight thousand years. I have a little something called Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. This is for those of us who believe in aging backwards so as to get the unpleasant aspects out of the way. Or some sort of autoimmune disorder, its hard to say. Regardless, when I was fourteen, had delightfully thin arms and was sporting an unfortunate unibrow, I had a double hip replacement surgery. You may think this sounds sad, but trust me, its been an amazing blessing in my life. I always have something to bond over with old people, I beep cheerfully in airport security, and I almost always win in who's got the coolest scar contests. Plus, you know. I can walk. Thats been pretty sweet.
Having major surgeries always come with pro and con lists. Pro: You can walk like a normal person! Con: You must never ever bungee jump. Pro: You're two inches taller! Con: You will never realize your Olympic dreams as a gymnast because you are not allowed to do the splits. Pro: You learned how to pluck your eyebrows! Con: Oh yeah, sometimes your hips might pop out of their sockets.
That last one was the biggie, the reason behind all my new found don't's, (don't cross your legs, don't sit indian style don't try to land a double front flip off the uneven bars...) Because at any moment an extreme position might send one of my new hips right out of their reinforced titanium sockets. I gravely agreed, and with great care and concern I stepped out into the world. It was worth the trade. I was very careful when I first got them, watching and waiting for the inevitable day when they popped out. But...they never did. Despite all the warnings of my surgical team (who could totally beat your surgical team), those hips stayed right where they were supposed to.
Flash forward eight years to 2006 when I
Imagine my surprise a couple of days ago when I bent down to grab a soda off the bottom shelf and when I stood up I heard and felt that distinctive pop. I believe my exact thought was "Oh my gosh you have got to be kidding me. Again?" Which I eloquently verbalized thusly: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!"
My mother thought I had seen a particularly nasty spider. She came to my rescue anyway, as did the rest of my excellent family. (At one point as my parents held me on the kitchen floor and two emt's prepared to move me onto a stretcher while another put in an iv to give me some much needed morphine I suggested someone get the camera and snap a picture for a scrapbook. For some reason I was not taken seriously and so unfortunately I don't have any photos for you.) Anyway, I got to ride in an ambulance WITH sirens, and crack McDreamy jokes with the nursing staff and after a couple of tries got my hip put back in place!
And at the conclusion of this long and sordid tale I must ask you. Why oh why does this always happen in the lamest of ways? If I had known I was going to pop a hip on Friday I would have just gone skydiving. I mean honestly, grabbing a soda? So thats then end folks, six weeks in captivity. Fortunately I'm extremely long suffering. Expect to hear from me often.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Sleepless in Southern California
It's two am and I can't sleep. Note to self: Don't take Excedrin right before bed...I don't care how bad your headache is! Next time just take a slug of whiskey and be done with it. I was planning to do a post about my cousin's wedding in Utah (yes another one...third one this year!), and my Arizona Thanksgiving. I was going to include pictures and stats just like the last one, but I remembered that I don't have my camera and don't have access to the pictures everyone else took. Everyone else, please send me pictures!
Tonight at in enrichment we had a cookie exchange. This is exactly as delightful a practice as it sounds. Everyone brings a batch of cookies, plus the recipe they used, and shares it with everyone else. I intuitively felt my loyal readers would want a copy of my recipe.
Tonight at in enrichment we had a cookie exchange. This is exactly as delightful a practice as it sounds. Everyone brings a batch of cookies, plus the recipe they used, and shares it with everyone else. I intuitively felt my loyal readers would want a copy of my recipe.
From The Friendly Kitchen: Agnes McCafferty’s World Famous Secret Recipe:
(…for, um, chocolate chip cookies)
You need:
¨ 1 cup of flour
¨ 1 cup of sugar
¨ 1 tin of crisco
¨ 1 pkg chocolate chips
¨ 1 tin of baking powder
¨ 1 medium mixing bowl
¨ 1 cup of hot chocolate…the chocolateier the better
¨ 2 regular sized candy canes
¨ 1 stylish apron
¨ 1 pearl necklace (optional)
First: Preheat the oven to 350, or somewhere in that neighborhood. Next, tie the stylish apron carefully around your waist so as not to wrinkle the silk party dress you are undoubtedly wearing. You may want to bring a full length mirror in at this point to admire how charming and domestic you look. We recommend fastening one to the inside of your pantry for easy access. Now take out the ingredients we’ve conveniently listed above. Carefully arrange these items on the counter for maximum visibility. It's important that passersby know how hard you are working. You may want to include some other things to add authenticity: eggs, butter, baking soda, milk, etc. However, we find that these items can be messy and choose not to bother with them at all. After opening the chocolate chip bag to sample a few tasty morsels, go to your refrigerator and remove one pkg of Nestle Tollhouse cookie dough. Slicing the dough yourself can be exhausting, so we recommend placing one slice of cookie dough in your mouth for each one you place on the cookie sheet. It is important to keep one’s strength up. Now, place the cookie sheet into the oven and cook for however long it is that you are supposed to. I’m sure it’s on the package. After all the dough has been eaten used, be sure to throw the wrapper away so as not to disillusion your guests. Now, you’ve worked hard! You deserve a little reward, so we suggest you treat yourself to a nice cup of hot cocoa, and a candy cane while you wait for your cookies to finish. (Don’t forget to dab just a little flour on your cheeks just before you serve, it adds that “I’ve been slaving over a hot stove all day so you could have this cookie” touch!)
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Reader's Digest Blogging
Things I meant to write blog posts about but couldn't make myself:
1) Halloween - This post would have included such items as the party I had to plan for five stakes as part of my surprise new calling as activities co-chair of my ward, the midnight oil burned in order to complete my and Emily's scarecrow entry in the much famed Village Venture (two ballroom dancing scarecrows with arms around each other with a sign that said "Dancing With the Straws!" It was quite awesome, but was bested in our hippie town by an entry called "Enviroman". ), and finally The Regina Spektor Concert of Magic and Joy and Oh My Gosh I Totally Want To Be Her. Also how the only place I could find white stockings for my Alice and Wonderland costume was in a shop of ill repute.
2) The Regina Spektor Concert of Magic and Joy and Oh My Gosh I Totally Want To Be Her would probably totally have to have its own post. - This post would have included such items as me desperately wanting to be Regina Spektor. Also included would be how I don't even like concerts all that much, but how Regina is so amazing live that I don't think she can even be fully appreciated unless you see her in person. Also how Only Son opened for her, and how at the end he came out dressed like Robin from Batman and they did this beat box version of Hotel Song that was just amazing. I was going to link to the youtube video, but I don't think it really shows how awesome it was.
3) My rediscovered desire to be a musician.- this post would include such soul stirring questions as: Is it too late in life to become a musical prodigy? Yes? How about piano lessons?
4) The Friday of much doom and gloom - This post would have mostly been a blow by blow of me getting pulled over for the FIRST TIME EVER, and recieving my very own shiny speeding ticket for illegedly going forty miles per hour on College, can you imagine? I can niether confirm nor deny such allegations, but I can confirm that it is extremely embarrassing to burst in to tears in front of the stern face of Johnny Law. Also you will still get a ticket. Stupid Johnny Law. This was kind of a complainy post.
5) Facebook - Can we talk about facebook? Here are things I like about it: The fact that people I haven’t seen since I was twelve totally send me messages and I therefore get to catch up with a lot of people I might otherwise never see again. This is a big plus for me. I know some people want nothing to do with the people they went to highschool with, but fortunately I was both non-descript and relatively cheerful through my adolescent years, and therefore have no one to hide from. As for things I don’t like…its not that I don’t like it exactly. As Marianne says…Facebook is a silly place. I'm always getting poked or slapped or having sheep thrown at me...all in the name of frienship. And then there is the newsfeed, which I think of as the Caroline Pierce of Facebook. The gossip that no one really likes and that is always updating you on the weirdest little details like, Dan Somebody and Sally Whatsherface are now friends! And you're like...who? Or: Matt Somethingorother has updated the tv shows he likes! I mean, thats nice for Matt and everything, but calm down Newsfeed! Be cool.
6) My Long Lost Cousin Allison - This particular post is actually only for people who are name Allison and who are also my cousin. It would include such items as: Hi Allison! I'm so excited that you found my blog! Marianne and I have been trying to read yours but I think its not open for public view or something...this must be fixed! We got the picture of your cute baby in the mail the other day, and...oh my gosh! So cute! Also...you have a baby! So cool! We must talk.
1) Halloween - This post would have included such items as the party I had to plan for five stakes as part of my surprise new calling as activities co-chair of my ward, the midnight oil burned in order to complete my and Emily's scarecrow entry in the much famed Village Venture (two ballroom dancing scarecrows with arms around each other with a sign that said "Dancing With the Straws!" It was quite awesome, but was bested in our hippie town by an entry called "Enviroman". ), and finally The Regina Spektor Concert of Magic and Joy and Oh My Gosh I Totally Want To Be Her. Also how the only place I could find white stockings for my Alice and Wonderland costume was in a shop of ill repute.
2) The Regina Spektor Concert of Magic and Joy and Oh My Gosh I Totally Want To Be Her would probably totally have to have its own post. - This post would have included such items as me desperately wanting to be Regina Spektor. Also included would be how I don't even like concerts all that much, but how Regina is so amazing live that I don't think she can even be fully appreciated unless you see her in person. Also how Only Son opened for her, and how at the end he came out dressed like Robin from Batman and they did this beat box version of Hotel Song that was just amazing. I was going to link to the youtube video, but I don't think it really shows how awesome it was.
3) My rediscovered desire to be a musician.- this post would include such soul stirring questions as: Is it too late in life to become a musical prodigy? Yes? How about piano lessons?
4) The Friday of much doom and gloom - This post would have mostly been a blow by blow of me getting pulled over for the FIRST TIME EVER, and recieving my very own shiny speeding ticket for illegedly going forty miles per hour on College, can you imagine? I can niether confirm nor deny such allegations, but I can confirm that it is extremely embarrassing to burst in to tears in front of the stern face of Johnny Law. Also you will still get a ticket. Stupid Johnny Law. This was kind of a complainy post.
5) Facebook - Can we talk about facebook? Here are things I like about it: The fact that people I haven’t seen since I was twelve totally send me messages and I therefore get to catch up with a lot of people I might otherwise never see again. This is a big plus for me. I know some people want nothing to do with the people they went to highschool with, but fortunately I was both non-descript and relatively cheerful through my adolescent years, and therefore have no one to hide from. As for things I don’t like…its not that I don’t like it exactly. As Marianne says…Facebook is a silly place. I'm always getting poked or slapped or having sheep thrown at me...all in the name of frienship. And then there is the newsfeed, which I think of as the Caroline Pierce of Facebook. The gossip that no one really likes and that is always updating you on the weirdest little details like, Dan Somebody and Sally Whatsherface are now friends! And you're like...who? Or: Matt Somethingorother has updated the tv shows he likes! I mean, thats nice for Matt and everything, but calm down Newsfeed! Be cool.
6) My Long Lost Cousin Allison - This particular post is actually only for people who are name Allison and who are also my cousin. It would include such items as: Hi Allison! I'm so excited that you found my blog! Marianne and I have been trying to read yours but I think its not open for public view or something...this must be fixed! We got the picture of your cute baby in the mail the other day, and...oh my gosh! So cute! Also...you have a baby! So cool! We must talk.
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