Thursday, July 10, 2008

I Should Probably Stock Up on Apples or Something.

You know how some people don't really believe in going to the doctor and only go when, like, they're hacking up blood, or accidentally lost a foot or something? Or slightly less extreme, (and hopefully less graphic, lost a foot? ew.) they have a general practitioner they see every three years or so when they have a cold or the flu or a particularly nasty hangnail? Well. This has not been my medical experience.
I don't so much have a doctor as I have a panel. First there's my primary care doctor, who I actually see very little of, but of whom it must be said, has the best waiting room. (Note to doctors everywhere: Play romantic comedies on the waiting room tv instead of Diabetes home care how to's. Your patients, even the diabetics, will thank you.). And then there's my Rheumatologist, who I see the most often. (actual quote from ol' Rheumy when he found out I forgot to get my blood work done again this month: "Hannah! What the hell dude?!". We have good times Rheumy and I.) My lame hand wringing surgeon who for SOME REASON will not give me the ok to bungee jump even though I SAID I would use a chest harness. Add in a hand specialist, a foot specialist, a chiropractor and a team of highly trained psychiatrists to treat my chronic delusions of grandeur. (At least thats what I like to pretend.) Alls I'm sayin' is, I have a lot of doctors.
What this means is that I also have a lot of doctor appointments, which I'm pretty cool with. I usually have them pretty spaced out, one or two a month depending. But for some reason, without meaning to I seem to have scheduled appointments with pretty much all of them this week. And let me assure you, I'm not complaining, I love all my doctors (Except for Surgeon. Surgeon needs to lighten up.) and I'm totally glad I have the ability (i.e. health insurance) to see them. But boy oh boy. How many waiting rooms can a girl take in one week? And the questions. What medications are you on? When were your most recent x-rays? When was your last period? Do you still have arthritis?Any changes to your insurance? What is the capital of Vermont? Over and over and over. Its a good thing I'm so long suffering. (Also, not dwell, but the nurses at both Rheumatologist's and GP Doc's offices both didn't let me take my shoes off when they weighed me. THAT IS AGAINST THE RULES LADIES! Even SURGEON lets me take my shoes off.)
What I would really like to do is have all my doctors meet me at IHOP or something where they could all ask each other who was prescribing what and compare notes and make recommendations over a nice stack of chocolate chip pancakes. Oddly no one has responded to my invitations to do this yet...maybe next month.


Rachel said...

Montpelier! I would love it if doctors ony asked state capitals. Then I wouldn't get that look that says, "Boy is THAT the wrong answer. Looks like you're going to kick the bucket tomorrow."

Kelly said...

As a registered nurse may I be part of this pancake breakfast? I see it as only necessary. The weight we gain at said breakfast will be cancelled out by the fact that we are indeed allowed to take off our shoes while on the scale, thus losing the two extra pounds we're carrying. You're right-it's a rule.

Sarah said...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...I love your blog!! Thanks for always making me laugh. Miss you!

Liz W. said...

I like your pancake idea. Anything is better when you have breakfast foods involved! That's my personal motto, at least.

Your post has reminded me that I haven't seen my doctor in two years. Maybe I should give her a call?

mastermind said...

Can I borrow one of your doctors? I'm too lazy to find my own. ....I don't want surgeon. He sounds like a wet blanket.

Hannah said...

Rachel-I HATE that look. Almost as bad as the "Seriously? You forgot to get that x-ray I ordered? SIX MONTHS AGO???" Which I may or may not have seen. Seven times.

Kelly-I don't think I would feel entirely comfortable unless I had an RN at the table. And just in case things get sketchy I should probably bring my legal counsel as well. Which will also work nicely Mehgan, because then you can just borrow one right at breakfast!
PS: When did you get a blog?! And hooray!

Sarah-Aw, you're the best! Baltimore is sooo lucky. Miss you back!

Liz-Don't worry about it, just come to IHOP, I've got plenty of doctors to go around.

Empress of Venus said...

LOL I do not miss those days. Isn't amazing how different every doctor's office on earth DOESN'T look from every other doctor's office on earth? This side of the Atlantic anyway...and above the equator...which I guess would only be one part of earth...

Amanda said...

Hi Hannah,

Two special requests for you
1)Please get together with Liz W. ASAP. I have been dying to see a picture of your birthday present and she won't post it on her page until you have actually seen it. Makes sense to me, but I'm a little selfish, so do what you can.
2)New post please. you are too funny and witty to keep that all stored up for only the people who see you in real life. I need a little joy and wit in WI too.