After careful thought and deep reflection, or at least carefully thinking about the possibility of deep reflection, I have decided to become a workaholic. I thought it best I inform you of this personally as I find this to be extremely life affirming. Workaholism seems like the best and easiest way to pay off my student loans that doesn't involve knocking off a gas station or preying on a recently widowed count with lots and lots of family money. Aslo, from what I can assertain from mainstream media, workaholics = adorable suits. I assume this will eventually put me in a position for a corporate takeover of some kind from which I will gain access to skull and bones type organization where we'll all wear formal attire (also adorable)and bungee jump off buildings. Once I've established myself as a corporate head hunter and recieved my commemorative if ethnically stereotypical spear, I'll have a mid-life crisis and marry a recently widowed count who just has lots and lots of family. I get lonely. Oh you may have your doubts..."Are you sure?" you might be asking right now, with a measure of tenative concern in your voice. The answer dear cousin, yes. I am sure. I can see your face now, disbelief, worry,anxiety,
apprehension, alarm, unease, trepidation, concern, amusment, laughter,enjoyment, delight, glee, hilarity, distraction, annoyance, irritation,anger, rage, fury, vengance, boredom, hunger...somewhere among these adjectives there is probably at least one word that fits your face right now. Unless its a poker face. Is it? What do you have?Cowboys? Sailboats? POCKET ACES??? STOP WATCHING CELEBRITY POKER SHOWDOWN HANNAH! OKAY! AND ALSO STOP HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH YOURSELF MID EMAIL!!!! OK...ay. Hi Crystal. How are you? Was I saying something? Oh yes. I'm going to be a workaholic. Or a ninja.
---Countess Hannah McBeal, dragonslayer.
I love how back then I was thought I would be paying off my student loans. Wasn't I just the cutest? Also I feel it important to tell you that the original email was written in purple font. FOR WHAT REASON? I have no idea. Never in my life have I sent an email with anything but respectable black type. At least never in my life since I was fifteen. These are the things that keep me up at night. That and the workahol.