Friday, November 30, 2007

Sleepless in Southern California

It's two am and I can't sleep. Note to self: Don't take Excedrin right before bed...I don't care how bad your headache is! Next time just take a slug of whiskey and be done with it. I was planning to do a post about my cousin's wedding in Utah (yes another one...third one this year!), and my Arizona Thanksgiving. I was going to include pictures and stats just like the last one, but I remembered that I don't have my camera and don't have access to the pictures everyone else took. Everyone else, please send me pictures!

Tonight at in enrichment we had a cookie exchange. This is exactly as delightful a practice as it sounds. Everyone brings a batch of cookies, plus the recipe they used, and shares it with everyone else. I intuitively felt my loyal readers would want a copy of my recipe.

From The Friendly Kitchen: Agnes McCafferty’s World Famous Secret Recipe:

(…for, um, chocolate chip cookies)

You need:

¨ 1 cup of flour

¨ 1 cup of sugar

¨ 1 tin of crisco

¨ 1 pkg chocolate chips

¨ 1 tin of baking powder

¨ 1 medium mixing bowl

¨ 1 cup of hot chocolate…the chocolateier the better

¨ 2 regular sized candy canes

¨ 1 stylish apron

¨ 1 pearl necklace (optional)

First: Preheat the oven to 350, or somewhere in that neighborhood. Next, tie the stylish apron carefully around your waist so as not to wrinkle the silk party dress you are undoubtedly wearing. You may want to bring a full length mirror in at this point to admire how charming and domestic you look. We recommend fastening one to the inside of your pantry for easy access. Now take out the ingredients we’ve conveniently listed above. Carefully arrange these items on the counter for maximum visibility. It's important that passersby know how hard you are working. You may want to include some other things to add authenticity: eggs, butter, baking soda, milk, etc. However, we find that these items can be messy and choose not to bother with them at all. After opening the chocolate chip bag to sample a few tasty morsels, go to your refrigerator and remove one pkg of Nestle Tollhouse cookie dough. Slicing the dough yourself can be exhausting, so we recommend placing one slice of cookie dough in your mouth for each one you place on the cookie sheet. It is important to keep one’s strength up. Now, place the cookie sheet into the oven and cook for however long it is that you are supposed to. I’m sure it’s on the package. After all the dough has been eaten used, be sure to throw the wrapper away so as not to disillusion your guests. Now, you’ve worked hard! You deserve a little reward, so we suggest you treat yourself to a nice cup of hot cocoa, and a candy cane while you wait for your cookies to finish. (Don’t forget to dab just a little flour on your cheeks just before you serve, it adds that “I’ve been slaving over a hot stove all day so you could have this cookie” touch!)

Tragically I was so busy writing the recipe, my cookies burned.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Reader's Digest Blogging

Things I meant to write blog posts about but couldn't make myself:

1) Halloween - This post would have included such items as the party I had to plan for five stakes as part of my surprise new calling as activities co-chair of my ward, the midnight oil burned in order to complete my and Emily's scarecrow entry in the much famed Village Venture (two ballroom dancing scarecrows with arms around each other with a sign that said "Dancing With the Straws!" It was quite awesome, but was bested in our hippie town by an entry called "Enviroman". ), and finally The Regina Spektor Concert of Magic and Joy and Oh My Gosh I Totally Want To Be Her. Also how the only place I could find white stockings for my Alice and Wonderland costume was in a shop of ill repute.

2) The Regina Spektor Concert of Magic and Joy and Oh My Gosh I Totally Want To Be Her would probably totally have to have its own post. - This post would have included such items as me desperately wanting to be Regina Spektor. Also included would be how I don't even like concerts all that much, but how Regina is so amazing live that I don't think she can even be fully appreciated unless you see her in person. Also how Only Son opened for her, and how at the end he came out dressed like Robin from Batman and they did this beat box version of Hotel Song that was just amazing. I was going to link to the youtube video, but I don't think it really shows how awesome it was.

3) My rediscovered desire to be a musician.- this post would include such soul stirring questions as: Is it too late in life to become a musical prodigy? Yes? How about piano lessons?

4) The Friday of much doom and gloom - This post would have mostly been a blow by blow of me getting pulled over for the FIRST TIME EVER, and recieving my very own shiny speeding ticket for illegedly going forty miles per hour on College, can you imagine? I can niether confirm nor deny such allegations, but I can confirm that it is extremely embarrassing to burst in to tears in front of the stern face of Johnny Law. Also you will still get a ticket. Stupid Johnny Law. This was kind of a complainy post.

5) Facebook - Can we talk about facebook? Here are things I like about it: The fact that people I haven’t seen since I was twelve totally send me messages and I therefore get to catch up with a lot of people I might otherwise never see again. This is a big plus for me. I know some people want nothing to do with the people they went to highschool with, but fortunately I was both non-descript and relatively cheerful through my adolescent years, and therefore have no one to hide from. As for things I don’t like…its not that I don’t like it exactly. As Marianne says…Facebook is a silly place. I'm always getting poked or slapped or having sheep thrown at me...all in the name of frienship. And then there is the newsfeed, which I think of as the Caroline Pierce of Facebook. The gossip that no one really likes and that is always updating you on the weirdest little details like, Dan Somebody and Sally Whatsherface are now friends! And you're like...who? Or: Matt Somethingorother has updated the tv shows he likes! I mean, thats nice for Matt and everything, but calm down Newsfeed! Be cool.

6) My Long Lost Cousin Allison - This particular post is actually only for people who are name Allison and who are also my cousin. It would include such items as: Hi Allison! I'm so excited that you found my blog! Marianne and I have been trying to read yours but I think its not open for public view or something...this must be fixed! We got the picture of your cute baby in the mail the other day, and...oh my gosh! So cute! have a baby! So cool! We must talk.