Friday, November 30, 2007

Sleepless in Southern California

It's two am and I can't sleep. Note to self: Don't take Excedrin right before bed...I don't care how bad your headache is! Next time just take a slug of whiskey and be done with it. I was planning to do a post about my cousin's wedding in Utah (yes another one...third one this year!), and my Arizona Thanksgiving. I was going to include pictures and stats just like the last one, but I remembered that I don't have my camera and don't have access to the pictures everyone else took. Everyone else, please send me pictures!

Tonight at in enrichment we had a cookie exchange. This is exactly as delightful a practice as it sounds. Everyone brings a batch of cookies, plus the recipe they used, and shares it with everyone else. I intuitively felt my loyal readers would want a copy of my recipe.

From The Friendly Kitchen: Agnes McCafferty’s World Famous Secret Recipe:

(…for, um, chocolate chip cookies)

You need:

¨ 1 cup of flour

¨ 1 cup of sugar

¨ 1 tin of crisco

¨ 1 pkg chocolate chips

¨ 1 tin of baking powder

¨ 1 medium mixing bowl

¨ 1 cup of hot chocolate…the chocolateier the better

¨ 2 regular sized candy canes

¨ 1 stylish apron

¨ 1 pearl necklace (optional)

First: Preheat the oven to 350, or somewhere in that neighborhood. Next, tie the stylish apron carefully around your waist so as not to wrinkle the silk party dress you are undoubtedly wearing. You may want to bring a full length mirror in at this point to admire how charming and domestic you look. We recommend fastening one to the inside of your pantry for easy access. Now take out the ingredients we’ve conveniently listed above. Carefully arrange these items on the counter for maximum visibility. It's important that passersby know how hard you are working. You may want to include some other things to add authenticity: eggs, butter, baking soda, milk, etc. However, we find that these items can be messy and choose not to bother with them at all. After opening the chocolate chip bag to sample a few tasty morsels, go to your refrigerator and remove one pkg of Nestle Tollhouse cookie dough. Slicing the dough yourself can be exhausting, so we recommend placing one slice of cookie dough in your mouth for each one you place on the cookie sheet. It is important to keep one’s strength up. Now, place the cookie sheet into the oven and cook for however long it is that you are supposed to. I’m sure it’s on the package. After all the dough has been eaten used, be sure to throw the wrapper away so as not to disillusion your guests. Now, you’ve worked hard! You deserve a little reward, so we suggest you treat yourself to a nice cup of hot cocoa, and a candy cane while you wait for your cookies to finish. (Don’t forget to dab just a little flour on your cheeks just before you serve, it adds that “I’ve been slaving over a hot stove all day so you could have this cookie” touch!)

Tragically I was so busy writing the recipe, my cookies burned.


Liz said...


How did you get my recipe for cookies? I thought I was the only one who knew about the secret ingredient!

Rachel said...

Those Tollhouse ready to bake cookies are the greatest invention ever. I hate making cookies because it takes so long and all I really want is the dough and 1 or 2 warm cookies. I bet angels invented them.

allisonlaurel said...

I hope I have a cookie exchange just so I can use that and have everyone think that I am actually that clever! So cute!!!

s.j.simon said...

lol. did you know that chocolate was banned in switzerland for many years. read this

Marianne said...

Who is this SJ Simon? Does he actually know you? Read this my foot.

Amanda said...

Okay, I just typed up a response and then got lulled away by that chocolate being banned comment and the computer lost everything.
You are hilarious. I loved the part about the essential apron and mirror gazing. I am imagining a very 50's sort of apron with lots of gathers. Beautiful. I in fact hinted to John last night that I needed a nice full length apron. It was a Christmas hint even though he insists he is finished shopping for me. Can't be if I keep hinting, right?

adeliason said...

You don't need to take excedren to be up at 2 am you can also just have 4 boys!!! It was fun seeing you over the holiday! Wish we got together more! Love ya, Ang

kathryn said...

It's 1:47 a.m. and I'm wired because I took THREE EXCEDRIN at 6 pm and I drank a huge glass of Pepsi. Dumb move, but at least my headache is gone... right?

The UnMighty said...

Hi, I'm kathryns husband. She told me to read your blog and I wasn't disappionted. I have little use for the recipe, since I'm a member of the "Anti Cooking Kitchen Haters", but the humor is scrumptious.

Sarah said...

Hannah...I found your blog! There is much rejoicing in Provo. :) XOXO

The UnMighty said...

Alright, breaks over. Write something new.